Noodles on a Bike

Which means that I've officially made up my mind.
:(

I'm an idiot.
And next time I won't be so careless with my feelings.

And perhaps I'll think things through before getting involved with something that has an "All signs say NO" attached to it.


I guess... I, or females in general, or, as humans in general, probably, have a need to be desired, to feel desired.
And we often throw all morals and beliefs out the window for happiness, regardless of how fleeting or unstable that feeling is.

Andre Dubus III's House of Sand and Fog has a really awesome quote, "...perhaps this explains the face of Americans, the eyes that never appear satisfied, at piece with their work, or the day God has given them; these people have the eyes of very small children who are forever looking for their next source of distraction, entertainment or a sweet taste in the mouth."

It's painfully true. We are in a constant search for happiness instead of just, having happiness.
Happiness is in front of us, 24/7, and yet most of us seek the superficial kind of happiness that comes from unnatural beauty, lustful romance and other things.


Maybe this is a good time to step away from that drive and start to look at natural happiness.
How I feel when Parnelli wags his tale, when 'Cole smiles at something stupid I do, when the sun shines on my shoulders, when I have a random talk with someone I'm close to, when my parents compliment me, when I get a pat on the back.

That's real happiness.