Noodles on a Bike

So I am looking for this guy, I've created a rough prototype in my head.
But I am praying that he exists somewhere out there and I will wait for him to come.
I want to talk about everything with this boy.
I want hang out with him, and to hold his hand, even in public and when no one is looking.
I want to talk to him in person about tough things, not always on the phone.
I want to look deep into his beautiful eyes.
I want to kiss him, and I want him to want to kiss me back.
I want him to allow me to take him out to dinner, and have him try to pay for me every now and then.
I want to know everything there is to know about this boy, but I want him to have enough secrets so that when we are old we'll have something to talk about.
I want to make memories with this boy.
I want to give that which I have saved to this boy.
I want him to open doors every now and then.
I want him to be the guy I've always wanted and never had.
I want him to be the good guy.
I want him to introduce me to his parents, and I want to get along with them and get to know his family.
I don't want him to buy me flowers, I want him to pick his own.
I want him to have my favorite candies memorized, and I don't want him to shy from buying me new candies to try.
I want him to make me feel better when I'm having a bad day, simply by being there and understanding.
I want to create long lasting and happy memories…

Have you seen him?
He is fun loving and silly, kind of weird with a great sense of humor, he's always laughing.
He is smart and handsome.
He is sweet and sincere.
He loves spending time with me, but never forgets his old friends.
He adds to my life, not completes it.
I want to be everything to him that he is to me.


But sadly, I am not ready to meet him.
At a mere 18 years old I am not prepared to settle down, to meet the man of my dreams, to fall in love.

For now I want the relationship that will hurt. The one that'll make me doubt myself, the ones that will test my morale. I want to have fun, be dangerous.
I want the most experience possible with as many situations as possible.
I want to have the crummiest most unhealthy relationships possible so that when I do meet this dream man, he's all that more dreamy.