Noodles on a Bike

Note: The bold writing reflects my thinking, commentary, ect.

From a guys point of view: Like we believe that!

We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. Any girl who does this is completely insensitive.

We don't care if a guy calls OR TEXTS you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Or if the guy calls all the time, even if it's not two in the morning. And I think it should be important here to state that gayfriends are not allowed to count in this. Girlfriends can call at 2, so can gayfriends.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning. Well...

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Hey, it's not our fault that society has taught us that we'll never be good enough.
Don't tell us we're wrong. And hey, we like reassurance!
We'll stop trying to convince you. Don't stop. WE WANT ATTENTION. Girls who tell you you're wrong do so because, well, we're probably lacking in the self-esteem build-up department.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood I'm in. And what mood might that be?! Hmmm.....???

Let us pay for you! No. It's called I have a job. I can pay for myself thankyouverymuch.
Don't "feel bad."
We enjoy doing it. Until the girl breaks up with you and you realize that you spent $200 on random food/presents costs.
It's expected. Maybe in the 50s or something, now days we pay for ourselves and don't feel obligated or "expected" to give sexual favors in return for an expensive date.
Smile and say "thank you."

Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed. Um, creepy!

You don't have to get dressed up for us. But we like to!
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. I hope real girls don't do this.
We like you for who you are and not what you are. Hahahaha, cuteeee.
Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up. Well if she's in your t-shirt and boxers you guys probably had sex. So yeah, I hope you think she looks good in them, otherwise you just made a big mistake.

Don't take everything we say seriously. So, you're a lier?
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Just make sure we can detect the sarcasm.
Don't get angry easily. Then why do you get angry when we don't get the joke?

Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Then get your fellow males to stop producing them.

Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that. You don't care what we think? Hey, look. This is a girl's way of gossiping, connecting. Then we want to hear about how you think Paris is such a skank and you think we have much greater butt than her and her hair looks so fake. It's called we make connections by talking, learn to deal with it!

Also "getting some" is not the only thing EVERY guy cares about. Hey, but that's the only thing some girls care about...

Not all guys are the same. And we're not all perfect either. We're only human. Hello! Same with us! We weren't all invented with abs like Jessica Alba.

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change. ditch his sorry, disgrace to the male population ass and find someone who will treat you with utter respect. And guys, girls will do almost anything to be your perfect woman, watch what you say!
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest. Hey, sometimes girls want to be all angsty and depressed, we've just got to get it out, you know?
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. But hey, there are unforgiveable mistakes, and those should not be overlooked.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Whoa. I hope someone who was being made to feel bad by the person they love would stop and say to themselves, jeez, I wonder if maybe that means they don't like me? If they treat me like shit, that probably means they don't respect me. Don't give love where it isn't deserved.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say "I love you" and actually mean it. Or stop what they're doing and say, "I'm so horny I've got to have you right now" and actually mean it. If the relationship is at that level of openness I think that'd be pretty good. Just stopping to say whatever's on their mind is good enough. Because guys, that means that you're communicating. And that's what makes us think you like us.

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*Holding Hands
Girls :If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times. Why don't you just grab his hand? Or say you want to hold his hand?
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once. Or do it without being prompted...

*Cuddling
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold. How about this magical line! "I want to cuddle with you." Whoa. That'd be difficult, like, saying what you mean instead of attempting to imply. Lame-os.
Guys : Automatically move closer to her. Or actually cuddle with her? How about asking her to cuddle?

*Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder.
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.
Or better yet, don't spend the $20 (and food money) to go to a movie, save it and just talk to each other instead. That'd be sweet.

*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it. Or, what about this, the guy says it first!

*Laying below the stars
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat. Not really watching the stars now are you? That'd require open eyes.
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Unless she has ticklish ears, then back off! Just kidddding.



And no, I am not a terrible cynic. I just wish that things were easier than men trying to get women to do things their way and women trying to get men to do it theirs. Or the whole, say you're cold if you want him to cuddle. That doesn't always work! Sometimes you really have to say, "I want to cuddle." Because, believe it or not, men were not equipped with women-reading-mind abilities.
Crazy, I know.
But seriously.
Give me a break!